I wonder why she didn't call him back?

LOL

Be Yourself!

I never used to 'get her'... Now I do!! There are many other songs I wanted to post of hers but 'Sincerely Jane' seemed befitting of my mood!

I like 'quirky', 'different'... might not be cool to others, its cool to me!

Testing, Testing... 1,2,3!

As promised, I have tried to set up an email account so I can blog more frequently!!

Fingers crossed this works and I can upload posts as much as I want to... :)

Ooh I'm excited!

Ribena and chicken.... xxx
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Here I Go...

"Here I go, made a fool of again,
Thinking that...
He was gonna be different "

'Heart Strings' - Amanda Diva


I thought he was better, he wasn't!! Imma keep it moving... Life is beautiful... God is good!!

Im trying to start blogging from my BlackBerry so hopefully there will be more frequent posts, because these sporadic entries are upsetting! I hate neglecting the readers!!


Love you!! xxx (I promise)

- Gabrielle

Doubt...

I find there are days where I go through different emotions... randomly!! In the morning I'm irritable, the afternoon I'm happy, evening... doubtful! And thats how I felt today... doubtful!

Doubting my path, my future, my progress... but I feel that sometimes this doubt is imminent after I've spoken to someone... especially someone my age who seems to be doing far better than I am! It doesn't matter how happy I can be but that doubt always seems to creep in... *shakes head* ... but as doubtful as I may be at that time... I am confident in the fact that God has my back and I will be just fine!

I feel like ever since I was young I've been living for other people, I've always been into diverse music, I've always had a different fashion sense... I've always been called 'neeky'... and when you're young you try so hard to fit in... you just want to be a part of something but as I grew older, I realised that I am the way I am because God made me this way... and He didnt make a mistake, so if I like different music... that is my business, that is my taste... not everybody on this Earth will like the same thing, yet I feel like we put so much pressure on ourselves to conform to whatever we feel is acceptable.

I've embraced my uniqueness... and I find it funny that things I've liked that have been mocked are now being accepted because its 'fashionable'... Stay true to yourselves people... and don't doubt the way you've been created, don't doubt yourself, don't doubt your abilities...

I didn't mean for this post to come out like this, lol! Be inspired!


I've listened to this song countless times but seemed to miss this blog's motto in Lauren's verse 'I must confess, my destiny's manifest'...

'Manifest Destiny '09'!! The desires of your heart will be manifested in your future as long as you believe that it is possible and within reach, maybe not now... but most certainly in your future!!




- Gabrielle

I Apologise!!

Its been too long... and I apologise... how could I lhave left my readers alone for so long?! Please forgive me! Lol!!

I've been away for a while now... partly due to volunteering abroad for three months (that experience was amazing... there will be more stories on that) and returning back to London living (quite difficult)... so difficult that I have been exploring ways in which I can make a living abroad. Until that plan comes to completion... I will be here more frequently updating you on the folly!! Lol!

Before I left London... I was the subject of harsh words and drama... its something I don't ever ever ever want to have to encounter again in life! Not only because I'm not 'that girl' but because I realised that some people will never like you (for no reason at all) and if ever there comes a time where they can express that dislike... they will do it in the harshest way possible!! I hope I'm making sense!!

Disguising their hatred for you amidst a complicated situation... ok enough of the codes, let me be direct 'cos I'm not sure if you'll understand where I'm going with it... e.g imagine knowing someone who you were cool with but when a situation arises they become so cold and callous... talking about you... sending indirect messages etc, my thing is that they never liked you, for so much hate to come out of a small situation... so basically this is what happened before I left and even though I was unhappy that I had to leave at that time... there could not have been a better time to do so! I believe that was God... (no detail needed on how I was gonna handle that situation had I not left... alrite then!)

*exhales*... I've been back for a month now and all I can say is... establish your good friends as soon as possible... acquaintances really do not matter!! I've come across so many different reactions of 'so-called friends' on my return that I think I could be a millionairess on every name I mention!! Imagine waking up one morning... unsure of yourself and unsure of what you want your next step to be... then seeing a text on your phone... (I always get a lil' excited when I get a text)... opening the text and reading... 'I'm disowning you... I can't be bothered'

*blank stare* hmm okay!! If I have failed to call you... as a friend would you not call me or would you not even think 'rah I havent spoken to Gabrielle and we talk on the regular... I hope shes okay... lemme check on her' ... but NO, this dimwit sent me 'such a text'... lool... I've said it before 'I am NOT that girl'... whatever reaction he was hoping to receive is not the reaction I gave him... he's disowned me - thats his business... I asked God to get rid of unnecessary baggage and he must be part of it... lets keep it moving!!!

As I said... I hope to write more frequently!! This show will not stop... thank you for all the supportive comments/messages... I really appreciate them all... Manifest Destiny '09... its not over... there is so much more to come!! And you need to claim that for your lives also!!


Off the topic... I'm loving this song...




- Gabrielle

xxx

Chrisette Michelle - 'Epiphany'

Chrisette Michele - Epiphany [New]
by Yannicklord

Pure Folly!

The previous blog was just to update you guys on my situation... the serious perspective on life!

Now for the folly... Imagine my surprise, went to church on Sunday and a friend was updating me on the nonsense that occurred the week I wasn't present! My friend (lets call her Kim) told me that this girl came to church with a chip on her shoulder... (bear in mind, she came with her posse, kmt) to confront Kim about something she had said! OK... fair enough thats all good! But the situation with me... is a little more complex! I heard something about this 'Queen' and was quite surprised because it doesn't seem like its in her nature... the twist is that her best friend is my best friend... so obviously I'm going to ask my best friend whether its true!!

I don't know what my BF said to her but all I know is that she deleted me off FB! To be fair... I didn't notice... its only when Kim told me about her situation (oh yeah, the Queen deleted her too) that I decided to check... my initial reaction... I couldnt stop laughing! Seriously, you know when you laugh so hard your stomach hurts and you cry!! Well, it was that kind of laughter... reason because... did she really think that deleting me would have an effect or something?! Like I don't get it... quite immature if you ask me! She could have asked me point blank and I would have told her the truth... POINT BLANK!! All I did was ask a question because I doubted that it was in her nature and her reaction to that was to delete me... *sighs*... you can't help them all! I was going to message her actually... along the words of 'how immature... you shoulda just confronted me about the problem' buuutttt I decided against it!

Its not even a big deal... which makes me think... if she has so much of a problem with it... and has reacted so adversely... maybe there is some truth to whatever I asked my BF!! And to my BF... loooool!! Laughing for days mate!


Next topic... why do guys cheat?! Like... no seriously... a guy can have a girlfriend but still go elsewhere! I don't get it! You proclaim on FB that she is your wife and you love her and there is no one else like her... but you're stepping out on her quite frequently! QUESTION: Are guys not aware that everybody knows everybody?? Especially girls... its so dangerous... you're just bound to get caught!

Why do girls trip over guys? Girls get on my nerves at times because they are so quick to say what they would do if ther main did this... or if a guy did this... and then when it happens... they dont do anything!! You're looking at them, waiting for the reaction that they said they would have... and then nothing! Just hype!! Girls are hype artists! Thats what they know best... same goes to that 'Queen' I was referring to... HYPE!!

A more light hearted post... I promise!! Lol!!

- Gabrielle

Update!!

Its taken me over a month to come back and write something... I started temping in an investment bank and its taken up all my time!! Never a dull moment... I'll share what I remember...

Working 9-5 in a company where I'm the only female and ethnic member of the team!*shock, horror*... what happened to diversity?! Well, I've had to press on and even though the work I could complete the work with my eyes closed... I'm having a laugh just watching the 'rules of the office'...

I'm never at the same desk in the office and constantly being moved around has me sitting next to new people and hearing the office goss. One guy I sat next to liked to make booty calls (I kid you not) during work hours, another guy likes to talk about the weather and how long it will take him to get home... and the rest... football, weather, their missus and the pub!! The conversation is limited but the humour is consistent...

One day on my way to work, got on the train, grabbed a seat and started conversing on my BlackBerry! I felt like I was being watched so naturally, I looked up! I locked eyes with a guy... he looked familiar... so I analysed his face then realised that in actual fact I didn't know him. I carried on my journey, got to my destination and made my way to work! Everybody knows the pace that you walk in when you're in the city... my feet are pounding the pavements fast and hard, when I hear 'Excuse me, did you go to so and so college?'

So thats where I knew this guy from... err nah! He didnt go to my college... or my uni... or my church... didnt live in my area... sooooo you can imagine how confused I was!! Lets cut to the chase... I think this guy has seen me on Facebook tagged in my cousin's pics and tried to style it out like he knew me from somewhere else... *rolls eyes* - anyway the guy seems alrite but its really not that season!

Manifest Destiny '09... got something planned and I'm having mixed feelings but I will let you know nearer the time!!

Keep hope alive!!

- Gabrielle

Black Women Walking....

Hey Guys!

I know I've been on a serious M.I.A status as of late, but its because i've been busy with my 'Manifest Destiny with action' plan.

I've also been working on my dissertation (arrgghh) and going through loads of film footage, music videos, magazine clippings etc. and a friend sent the clip above to me, its from a documentary called 'Black Women Walking' by Tracey Rose.

Check it out, hopefully it will stir some interesting responses from you.

Stay TooFly.

My Weekend!

My social life is impressive around this time of year... there is always something going on!

Friday
I decided to go out with a few friends, just wind down and have a good time! Prior to Friday, I hadn't been out since Nigerian Independence so you could say I was a little hyped! We got to the first venue and that 'black timing' was not impressive at all and we couldn't get in, lol... so the club hopping began. I was calling everyone I knew in the promotion industry because none of us wanted to go home and the trouble we went through to find another event was hilarious!

I miss that aspect of going out, having a laugh and just for a few hours not having any cares in the world! We now arrived at the 'substitute event' and it wasn't 'poppin' but we had an okay time! I was there for a few minutes when I clocked that the music was still the same! Before Nigerian Independence, I had still not been out for ages so the fact that the DJ was spinning the same 'ol tunes got me thinking!

The scene never changes! Some of the songs do but from when I was hearing the bait 80's tunes at the end, the good ol' candy routine never fails, oh and my fave 'roses are red, violets are blue, and the only thing I'm certain of is... i love youuuuuu!!', I realised that I'm not missing a thing!

The lights came on... girls running away from the dance floor like vampires! The hype had gone for me and we left! Again, the journey back was intense! One minute you're all laughing, the next... trying to diffuse arguments within the group! One of the girls went home sulking and it killed the mood for the rest of us... albeit I still had fun! I don't know when we're going to go out again but I really think the next stop will be an 'African' club... we were sooooo close to going Friday night but when we saw one 'big mama' going to queue up... (and I'm calling her that because she looked like those big aunties you see at parties or even in church), it just didn't feel right... but I will go this year! Gonna add it to the '09 list!

Saturday was a bit different! My 14 year old sister had a birthday party, I know 14... but my dad said he wanted to throw a party for her! Started off quite shaky.. got to the hall and the dj was playin some 'off' tunes... *side eye*... was not impressed in the slightest but I just put it down to him doing a test run before the people came! Her friends started coming and thats when my headache started! KMT!! I've realised that there is a certain age I don't like and that is 13-15 year olds.... I know I was once that age but I'm telling you I was not fast like that! And I can vouch for that because when I was 13-15 I always looked two or so years younger... not many people wanted to hang out with me (sad I know) but that meant constant tv for me, b2k and constant tv!! Because of that I know an extensive range of songs that I'm not even supposed to (70's songs come on and I know the words... how?! My tv era!)... I digress, so basically these kids looked like they could be 16+... kmt... the girls were fast and the guys even faster!

Music was playing, food had been consumed and routinely the guests should have started dancing but they didn't! I had an idea to switch the lights off and then when the dancing was underway, switch the lights back on! I did so... the lights went off and everyone was on the dancefloor... five minutes later I switched them back on.... the floor cleared! Arggghhh!! Tried again, same thing! I gave up and switched the lights off... had a few friends my age to chaperone the floor and yes they were needed!

Maybe its me, maybe I'm naive but at 14... what kind of dancing are you supposed to do?! I know the running man is backdated but you know, a more updated version... I expected them to 'pop' n 'lock'... breakdance, some routines! Err nah!! I saw straight adult moves, these kids have been watching too much tv... asking girls 'can I wine wiv you?'.... it just turned into a nightmare! I became that adult I swore I would never become... separating these excitteeeddd little kids and telling them they can still have fun without dancing like that! Telling the grown looking girls that being in a 'sandwich' is soooooo not a good look... I guess those warnings fell on deaf ears 'cos as soon as my back was turned... they were 'at it' again!

Ah... by the end of the day, I was extremely tired, frustrated and agitated! Never again... If you have a younger brother or sister... watch them closely!! NO PARTIES!! Just those family gathering type celebrations... these kids of nowadays have really grown wings! Don't be surprised if you hear your 13 year old brother on the phone saying "yeahhh G, that girl was soo on it... man gave her tha 079 but I aint even tryna get wiv her like that... watch the way I treat her at Simon's party.... Imma call u back tho... Chucklevision is on!"

Remember I told you!

- Gabrielle

The Ex

There are days when I have nothing to write about, either nothing has happened or just writers' block! Thats when I find myself on other people's blogs... surfing the net... just trying to find creative inspiration!


Thanks to my dear friend Mikes, (check out his blog here) I found some inspiration! Great stuff! Now his blog is from a male perspective and when he shared his last post with me, I automatically thought it would be the problems he'd had with his own ex... misunderstood his 'case of the ex' saga!


I've twisted it for this blog, going to address the 'rules' about exes, please feel free to comment... I want to know if I am alone in my feelings toward this subject or whether some people can agree!


My opinion of an ex... a person who you no longer date! Someone who had 'status' in your life but no longer holds that position... for some people they can't stand their ex and for others their ex is their best friend! As for me... I ABSOLUTELY DESPISE one of my exes... I can't say hate because its such a strong word but you get the idea!


Have you ever...

felt like if you never met someone your life would be so much better?

wished you took the time to get to know that person properly?


I can't explain the relationships I have with my exes... they're quite weird! There's one I talk to casually, there's one I don't talk to as much and the one I despise, there is no contact! I mean is it normal to still be in constant contact with ur ex, or am I just different?! I don't understand people who can establish solid friendships with their ex, knowing fully well that this person has all the information they would need to destroy their career.


There's so much to cover in this subject... what about the types of exes?! The type of ex you have determines the way you relate to them! If your ex is crazy... you're most likely going to talk to them with no respect and are most likely to have arguments with this ex! If your ex is pleasant and carries on with their own life then I guess you would do the same... so the greetings could be a quick 'hi' and 'bye'...



What about the way a relationship ends?! Does that affect the way you relate to an ex?! Hmm I think it has some importance! If the demise of the relationship was mutual, then I guess you would be courteous towards each other but if one person ended the relationship... then the other person might remain bitter about it and not be able to maintain a pleasant relationship!!



In saying that though, my first boyfriend... err correction 'autumn romance' lol... called me to tell me he still liked another girl! KMT! He had no idea what he was doing, passing on 'alllll of thissss'... and I was initially angry! Very angry infact! I couldn't understand what he was trying to achieve by telling me that he liked another girl... so in 'Gabrielle' style I told him to get with her and forget what we had *cleaner version*... that was it!!



I used to see him around college with her, oh my heart would drop everytime I saw them... not because I still liked him but that whole situation in itself was embarrasing! I believe in karma though and believe he did get his... hahaha... he got kicked out of college the week after, the girl confessed to everyone that she didn't really like him and my swags had improved immensely!



By that time my confidence had hit the roof and needless to say guys were trying to get the 079... oh karma did me well! Until, my head got too big and she hit me back... but I can get into that another time... for now the moral of the story is... 'exes suck!!' Just kidding! They're alright depending on the factors mentioned above!



No more exes for me!! Yeah I said it, the next one is a keeper!! Real talks!

- Gabrielle

Happy New Year!!

2009 you guys!! If nothing else, I'm happy of things yet to come!

No resolutions!! Just Manifest Destiny with Action!!

There's certain things I keep reminding myself not to do:



- Not to settle!

Because life is not as romantic as 'Love and Basketball' and not everyone finds their love just like April in 'Stomp the Yard'... so until I meet a guy who is deserving of me... I will remain single!!



- Not to be discouraged!

Life is hard!! And there are times when you feel like nothing is going right... things aren't coming together as they should.... and as hard as those situations are... I must remember not to be discouraged!! I believe hard work pays off...

- Have more fun

If I regret anything in life... I regret not having fun when I was supposed to! I didnt't take advantage of my time at university and now I'm back at home, I wish I had!! I find myself reminiscing on the times I could have had... no more!!

- Take risks

Soooo life is dry when its predictable! I want to spice it up a little albeit the guy I met in the previous post isn't the kind of spice I'm talking about! I just want to make life more interesting... dinner... 8... your place?? Lool! Might start saying 'yes' to some people!

No New Year resolutions but I have noted down things I would like to achieve this year (originally targets for 2008) and I am so determined to achieve these targets! They can not be carried on to 2010... this is it for me to be honest!! This is my 'go hard' year!

My motto for this year: Now or never! I always conveniently have an excuse for something I said I would do but 'chicken' out of... so its now I guess!!