Without Issues...

Morning :o)

2010-02-18T00:23:00.001-08:00

I woke up so abruptly this morning... Is that the right description for it?! Abruptly? Suddenly? Well it just wasn't how I like to wake up!!

I'm so over this 9-5 you won't believe... so in light of my boredom I have cultivated a 'to-do' list before I'm 30!! I thought if I made it 40, I'd be a tad lack luster about it all and end up not bothering!!

Soooo let's start with my first one...

Sing With Tina Turner ;o)

A bit too ambitious... Lool... *shrugs shoulders*

xxx
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

I wonder why she didn't call him back?

2009-11-16T14:00:00.000-08:00

LOL

Be Yourself!

2009-11-08T15:46:00.000-08:00

I never used to 'get her'... Now I do!! There are many other songs I wanted to post of hers but 'Sincerely Jane' seemed befitting of my mood!

I like 'quirky', 'different'... might not be cool to others, its cool to me!

Testing, Testing... 1,2,3!

2009-10-30T12:10:00.000-07:00

As promised, I have tried to set up an email account so I can blog more frequently!!

Fingers crossed this works and I can upload posts as much as I want to... :)

Ooh I'm excited!

Ribena and chicken.... xxx
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Here I Go...

2009-10-29T17:38:00.000-07:00

"Here I go, made a fool of again,
Thinking that...
He was gonna be different "

'Heart Strings' - Amanda Diva

I thought he was better, he wasn't!! Imma keep it moving... Life is beautiful... God is good!!

Im trying to start blogging from my BlackBerry so hopefully there will be more frequent posts, because these sporadic entries are upsetting! I hate neglecting the readers!!

Love you!! xxx (I promise)

- Gabrielle

Doubt...

2009-07-31T11:42:00.000-07:00

I find there are days where I go through different emotions... randomly!! In the morning I'm irritable, the afternoon I'm happy, evening... doubtful! And thats how I felt today... doubtful!

Doubting my path, my future, my progress... but I feel that sometimes this doubt is imminent after I've spoken to someone... especially someone my age who seems to be doing far better than I am! It doesn't matter how happy I can be but that doubt always seems to creep in... *shakes head* ... but as doubtful as I may be at that time... I am confident in the fact that God has my back and I will be just fine!

I feel like ever since I was young I've been living for other people, I've always been into diverse music, I've always had a different fashion sense... I've always been called 'neeky'... and when you're young you try so hard to fit in... you just want to be a part of something but as I grew older, I realised that I am the way I am because God made me this way... and He didnt make a mistake, so if I like different music... that is my business, that is my taste... not everybody on this Earth will like the same thing, yet I feel like we put so much pressure on ourselves to conform to whatever we feel is acceptable.

I've embraced my uniqueness... and I find it funny that things I've liked that have been mocked are now being accepted because its 'fashionable'... Stay true to yourselves people... and don't doubt the way you've been created, don't doubt yourself, don't doubt your abilities...

I didn't mean for this post to come out like this, lol! Be inspired!

I've listened to this song countless times but seemed to miss this blog's motto in Lauren's verse 'I must confess, my destiny's manifest'...

'Manifest Destiny '09'!! The desires of your heart will be manifested in your future as long as you believe that it is possible and within reach, maybe not now... but most certainly in your future!!

- Gabrielle

I Apologise!!

2009-07-13T03:52:00.000-07:00

Its been too long... and I apologise... how could I lhave left my readers alone for so long?! Please forgive me! Lol!!

I've been away for a while now... partly due to volunteering abroad for three months (that experience was amazing... there will be more stories on that) and returning back to London living (quite difficult)... so difficult that I have been exploring ways in which I can make a living abroad. Until that plan comes to completion... I will be here more frequently updating you on the folly!! Lol!

Before I left London... I was the subject of harsh words and drama... its something I don't ever ever ever want to have to encounter again in life! Not only because I'm not 'that girl' but because I realised that some people will never like you (for no reason at all) and if ever there comes a time where they can express that dislike... they will do it in the harshest way possible!! I hope I'm making sense!!

Disguising their hatred for you amidst a complicated situation... ok enough of the codes, let me be direct 'cos I'm not sure if you'll understand where I'm going with it... e.g imagine knowing someone who you were cool with but when a situation arises they become so cold and callous... talking about you... sending indirect messages etc, my thing is that they never liked you, for so much hate to come out of a small situation... so basically this is what happened before I left and even though I was unhappy that I had to leave at that time... there could not have been a better time to do so! I believe that was God... (no detail needed on how I was gonna handle that situation had I not left... alrite then!)

*exhales*... I've been back for a month now and all I can say is... establish your good friends as soon as possible... acquaintances really do not matter!! I've come across so many different reactions of 'so-called friends' on my return that I think I could be a millionairess on every name I mention!! Imagine waking up one morning... unsure of yourself and unsure of what you want your next step to be... then seeing a text on your phone... (I always get a lil' excited when I get a text)... opening the text and reading... 'I'm disowning you... I can't be bothered'

*blank stare* hmm okay!! If I have failed to call you... as a friend would you not call me or would you not even think 'rah I havent spoken to Gabrielle and we talk on the regular... I hope shes okay... lemme check on her' ... but NO, this dimwit sent me 'such a text'... lool... I've said it before 'I am NOT that girl'... whatever reaction he was hoping to receive is not the reaction I gave him... he's disowned me - thats his business... I asked God to get rid of unnecessary baggage and he must be part of it... lets keep it moving!!!

As I said... I hope to write more frequently!! This show will not stop... thank you for all the supportive comments/messages... I really appreciate them all... Manifest Destiny '09... its not over... there is so much more to come!! And you need to claim that for your lives also!!

Off the topic... I'm loving this song...

- Gabrielle

xxx

Chrisette Michelle - 'Epiphany'

2009-03-11T15:54:00.000-07:00

Chrisette Michele - Epiphany [New]
by Yannicklord

Pure Folly!

2009-02-09T13:07:00.000-08:00

The previous blog was just to update you guys on my situation... the serious perspective on life!

Now for the folly... Imagine my surprise, went to church on Sunday and a friend was updating me on the nonsense that occurred the week I wasn't present! My friend (lets call her Kim) told me that this girl came to church with a chip on her shoulder... (bear in mind, she came with her posse, kmt) to confront Kim about something she had said! OK... fair enough thats all good! But the situation with me... is a little more complex! I heard something about this 'Queen' and was quite surprised because it doesn't seem like its in her nature... the twist is that her best friend is my best friend... so obviously I'm going to ask my best friend whether its true!!

I don't know what my BF said to her but all I know is that she deleted me off FB! To be fair... I didn't notice... its only when Kim told me about her situation (oh yeah, the Queen deleted her too) that I decided to check... my initial reaction... I couldnt stop laughing! Seriously, you know when you laugh so hard your stomach hurts and you cry!! Well, it was that kind of laughter... reason because... did she really think that deleting me would have an effect or something?! Like I don't get it... quite immature if you ask me! She could have asked me point blank and I would have told her the truth... POINT BLANK!! All I did was ask a question because I doubted that it was in her nature and her reaction to that was to delete me... *sighs*... you can't help them all! I was going to message her actually... along the words of 'how immature... you shoulda just confronted me about the problem' buuutttt I decided against it!

Its not even a big deal... which makes me think... if she has so much of a problem with it... and has reacted so adversely... maybe there is some truth to whatever I asked my BF!! And to my BF... loooool!! Laughing for days mate!

Next topic... why do guys cheat?! Like... no seriously... a guy can have a girlfriend but still go elsewhere! I don't get it! You proclaim on FB that she is your wife and you love her and there is no one else like her... but you're stepping out on her quite frequently! QUESTION: Are guys not aware that everybody knows everybody?? Especially girls... its so dangerous... you're just bound to get caught!

Why do girls trip over guys? Girls get on my nerves at times because they are so quick to say what they would do if ther main did this... or if a guy did this... and then when it happens... they dont do anything!! You're looking at them, waiting for the reaction that they said they would have... and then nothing! Just hype!! Girls are hype artists! Thats what they know best... same goes to that 'Queen' I was referring to... HYPE!!

A more light hearted post... I promise!! Lol!!

- Gabrielle

Update!!

2009-02-09T12:25:00.000-08:00

Its taken me over a month to come back and write something... I started temping in an investment bank and its taken up all my time!! Never a dull moment... I'll share what I remember...

Working 9-5 in a company where I'm the only female and ethnic member of the team!*shock, horror*... what happened to diversity?! Well, I've had to press on and even though the work I could complete the work with my eyes closed... I'm having a laugh just watching the 'rules of the office'...

I'm never at the same desk in the office and constantly being moved around has me sitting next to new people and hearing the office goss. One guy I sat next to liked to make booty calls (I kid you not) during work hours, another guy likes to talk about the weather and how long it will take him to get home... and the rest... football, weather, their missus and the pub!! The conversation is limited but the humour is consistent...

One day on my way to work, got on the train, grabbed a seat and started conversing on my BlackBerry! I felt like I was being watched so naturally, I looked up! I locked eyes with a guy... he looked familiar... so I analysed his face then realised that in actual fact I didn't know him. I carried on my journey, got to my destination and made my way to work! Everybody knows the pace that you walk in when you're in the city... my feet are pounding the pavements fast and hard, when I hear 'Excuse me, did you go to so and so college?'

So thats where I knew this guy from... err nah! He didnt go to my college... or my uni... or my church... didnt live in my area... sooooo you can imagine how confused I was!! Lets cut to the chase... I think this guy has seen me on Facebook tagged in my cousin's pics and tried to style it out like he knew me from somewhere else... *rolls eyes* - anyway the guy seems alrite but its really not that season!

Manifest Destiny '09... got something planned and I'm having mixed feelings but I will let you know nearer the time!!

Keep hope alive!!

- Gabrielle

Black Women Walking....

2009-01-06T02:59:00.000-08:00

Hey Guys!

I know I've been on a serious M.I.A status as of late, but its because i've been busy with my 'Manifest Destiny with action' plan.

I've also been working on my dissertation (arrgghh) and going through loads of film footage, music videos, magazine clippings etc. and a friend sent the clip above to me, its from a documentary called 'Black Women Walking' by Tracey Rose.

Check it out, hopefully it will stir some interesting responses from you.

Stay TooFly.

My Weekend!

2009-01-05T07:57:00.000-08:00

My social life is impressive around this time of year... there is always something going on!

Friday
I decided to go out with a few friends, just wind down and have a good time! Prior to Friday, I hadn't been out since Nigerian Independence so you could say I was a little hyped! We got to the first venue and that 'black timing' was not impressive at all and we couldn't get in, lol... so the club hopping began. I was calling everyone I knew in the promotion industry because none of us wanted to go home and the trouble we went through to find another event was hilarious!

I miss that aspect of going out, having a laugh and just for a few hours not having any cares in the world! We now arrived at the 'substitute event' and it wasn't 'poppin' but we had an okay time! I was there for a few minutes when I clocked that the music was still the same! Before Nigerian Independence, I had still not been out for ages so the fact that the DJ was spinning the same 'ol tunes got me thinking!

The scene never changes! Some of the songs do but from when I was hearing the bait 80's tunes at the end, the good ol' candy routine never fails, oh and my fave 'roses are red, violets are blue, and the only thing I'm certain of is... i love youuuuuu!!', I realised that I'm not missing a thing!

The lights came on... girls running away from the dance floor like vampires! The hype had gone for me and we left! Again, the journey back was intense! One minute you're all laughing, the next... trying to diffuse arguments within the group! One of the girls went home sulking and it killed the mood for the rest of us... albeit I still had fun! I don't know when we're going to go out again but I really think the next stop will be an 'African' club... we were sooooo close to going Friday night but when we saw one 'big mama' going to queue up... (and I'm calling her that because she looked like those big aunties you see at parties or even in church), it just didn't feel right... but I will go this year! Gonna add it to the '09 list!

Saturday was a bit different! My 14 year old sister had a birthday party, I know 14... but my dad said he wanted to throw a party for her! Started off quite shaky.. got to the hall and the dj was playin some 'off' tunes... *side eye*... was not impressed in the slightest but I just put it down to him doing a test run before the people came! Her friends started coming and thats when my headache started! KMT!! I've realised that there is a certain age I don't like and that is 13-15 year olds.... I know I was once that age but I'm telling you I was not fast like that! And I can vouch for that because when I was 13-15 I always looked two or so years younger... not many people wanted to hang out with me (sad I know) but that meant constant tv for me, b2k and constant tv!! Because of that I know an extensive range of songs that I'm not even supposed to (70's songs come on and I know the words... how?! My tv era!)... I digress, so basically these kids looked like they could be 16+... kmt... the girls were fast and the guys even faster!

Music was playing, food had been consumed and routinely the guests should have started dancing but they didn't! I had an idea to switch the lights off and then when the dancing was underway, switch the lights back on! I did so... the lights went off and everyone was on the dancefloor... five minutes later I switched them back on.... the floor cleared! Arggghhh!! Tried again, same thing! I gave up and switched the lights off... had a few friends my age to chaperone the floor and yes they were needed!

Maybe its me, maybe I'm naive but at 14... what kind of dancing are you supposed to do?! I know the running man is backdated but you know, a more updated version... I expected them to 'pop' n 'lock'... breakdance, some routines! Err nah!! I saw straight adult moves, these kids have been watching too much tv... asking girls 'can I wine wiv you?'.... it just turned into a nightmare! I became that adult I swore I would never become... separating these excitteeeddd little kids and telling them they can still have fun without dancing like that! Telling the grown looking girls that being in a 'sandwich' is soooooo not a good look... I guess those warnings fell on deaf ears 'cos as soon as my back was turned... they were 'at it' again!

Ah... by the end of the day, I was extremely tired, frustrated and agitated! Never again... If you have a younger brother or sister... watch them closely!! NO PARTIES!! Just those family gathering type celebrations... these kids of nowadays have really grown wings! Don't be surprised if you hear your 13 year old brother on the phone saying "yeahhh G, that girl was soo on it... man gave her tha 079 but I aint even tryna get wiv her like that... watch the way I treat her at Simon's party.... Imma call u back tho... Chucklevision is on!"

Remember I told you!

- Gabrielle

The Ex

2009-01-04T09:02:00.001-08:00

There are days when I have nothing to write about, either nothing has happened or just writers' block! Thats when I find myself on other people's blogs... surfing the net... just trying to find creative inspiration!

Thanks to my dear friend Mikes, (check out his blog here) I found some inspiration! Great stuff! Now his blog is from a male perspective and when he shared his last post with me, I automatically thought it would be the problems he'd had with his own ex... misunderstood his 'case of the ex' saga!

I've twisted it for this blog, going to address the 'rules' about exes, please feel free to comment... I want to know if I am alone in my feelings toward this subject or whether some people can agree!

My opinion of an ex... a person who you no longer date! Someone who had 'status' in your life but no longer holds that position... for some people they can't stand their ex and for others their ex is their best friend! As for me... I ABSOLUTELY DESPISE one of my exes... I can't say hate because its such a strong word but you get the idea!

Have you ever...

felt like if you never met someone your life would be so much better?

wished you took the time to get to know that person properly?

I can't explain the relationships I have with my exes... they're quite weird! There's one I talk to casually, there's one I don't talk to as much and the one I despise, there is no contact! I mean is it normal to still be in constant contact with ur ex, or am I just different?! I don't understand people who can establish solid friendships with their ex, knowing fully well that this person has all the information they would need to destroy their career.

There's so much to cover in this subject... what about the types of exes?! The type of ex you have determines the way you relate to them! If your ex is crazy... you're most likely going to talk to them with no respect and are most likely to have arguments with this ex! If your ex is pleasant and carries on with their own life then I guess you would do the same... so the greetings could be a quick 'hi' and 'bye'...

What about the way a relationship ends?! Does that affect the way you relate to an ex?! Hmm I think it has some importance! If the demise of the relationship was mutual, then I guess you would be courteous towards each other but if one person ended the relationship... then the other person might remain bitter about it and not be able to maintain a pleasant relationship!!

In saying that though, my first boyfriend... err correction 'autumn romance' lol... called me to tell me he still liked another girl! KMT! He had no idea what he was doing, passing on 'alllll of thissss'... and I was initially angry! Very angry infact! I couldn't understand what he was trying to achieve by telling me that he liked another girl... so in 'Gabrielle' style I told him to get with her and forget what we had *cleaner version*... that was it!!

I used to see him around college with her, oh my heart would drop everytime I saw them... not because I still liked him but that whole situation in itself was embarrasing! I believe in karma though and believe he did get his... hahaha... he got kicked out of college the week after, the girl confessed to everyone that she didn't really like him and my swags had improved immensely!

By that time my confidence had hit the roof and needless to say guys were trying to get the 079... oh karma did me well! Until, my head got too big and she hit me back... but I can get into that another time... for now the moral of the story is... 'exes suck!!' Just kidding! They're alright depending on the factors mentioned above!

No more exes for me!! Yeah I said it, the next one is a keeper!! Real talks!

- Gabrielle

Happy New Year!!

2009-01-01T14:44:00.000-08:00

2009 you guys!! If nothing else, I'm happy of things yet to come!

No resolutions!! Just Manifest Destiny with Action!!

There's certain things I keep reminding myself not to do:

- Not to settle!

Because life is not as romantic as 'Love and Basketball' and not everyone finds their love just like April in 'Stomp the Yard'... so until I meet a guy who is deserving of me... I will remain single!!

- Not to be discouraged!

Life is hard!! And there are times when you feel like nothing is going right... things aren't coming together as they should.... and as hard as those situations are... I must remember not to be discouraged!! I believe hard work pays off...

- Have more fun

If I regret anything in life... I regret not having fun when I was supposed to! I didnt't take advantage of my time at university and now I'm back at home, I wish I had!! I find myself reminiscing on the times I could have had... no more!!

- Take risks

Soooo life is dry when its predictable! I want to spice it up a little albeit the guy I met in the previous post isn't the kind of spice I'm talking about! I just want to make life more interesting... dinner... 8... your place?? Lool! Might start saying 'yes' to some people!

No New Year resolutions but I have noted down things I would like to achieve this year (originally targets for 2008) and I am so determined to achieve these targets! They can not be carried on to 2010... this is it for me to be honest!! This is my 'go hard' year!

My motto for this year: Now or never! I always conveniently have an excuse for something I said I would do but 'chicken' out of... so its now I guess!!

2008-12-29T07:46:00.000-08:00

An update is more than needed...

So right now I'm in an internet cafe, kmt... my laptop died! *sigh* After spending £200 to get it fixed, it literally just died on my lap... couldn't resuscitate it! I had some things to sort out that my Blackberry wouldn't allow, so thought I might as well update you guys on the latest!! At least keep you amused til the next post!!

Where do I begin...

Ok!! I told you I met someone right... haha... erase that from your memory!! I feel bamboozled once again, because when I met him he was nice, charming and held an intelligent conversation! I don't know whether I was wrong for giving him my number or wrong for not lying in saying I had a boyfriend! Either way... I was looking forward to future interaction and hmm... I was not impressed! Quite appalled in fact!

"On the day I flew back from Naija, I had to go to my girlfriends place because it would have taken me yearssss to get home. As soon as I got there, I fell asleep then I woke up and took my bath!! You know my girlfriend came in to 'SCROB' *side eye* my back... she actually 'scrobbed' my back!"

That was it for me!! A sign from above... such a crystal clear sign that this was not the guy for me!! I can only look back and laugh!!

Nothing much has been happening... just anticipating 2009!! 2008 was shite... I don't care, I don't care! If the year was good for you... congratulations!! I just want 2008 to be over so I can at least anticipate something good happening in 2009!! Manifest destiny and all!!

There seems to be so many events at the end of the year... birthdays, jamming sessions, house parties etc!! I make up for my hibernation in December and these past few days/weeks have been no exception! I really had a good time at a friends birthday dinner... laughing with friends, insulting the waiters (haha... I'm joking!! I would never do that), meeting new people - networking around the room!!! I really liked the company and the guys there were not baaaadd!! Lol! I find it funny when guys flirt... hahaha, every guy has a different method but it's all still the same outcome!! They don't get the 079... loool... but the build up is entertaining!!

I was on a high from my friend's dinner and was persuaded by a good friend to go to a 'get together' sorta thing! Now, I did plan to go earlier in the week but as the day drew closer, I decided against it! I couldn't tell you the reason but I just didn't feel like going! And one lesson I've learned so prominently is 'stick with your gut feeling'... it just wasn't my crowd! I wasn't comfortable and I was on my BB throughout... I love my BB... but come on!! I'm not even going to say what was going through my mind whilst I was there but I will give props to the host ('cos I know he reads this)... It was a good night for many but I'm just not 'down' for that crowd!!

Another big lesson... I go to no events without one member of the team!! A very strict rule from now on... *sigh*

Happy Holidays!!

P.S. Hopefully I will post before New Years Day... but you know the deal!!

Hmm... Im In One of Those Moods Today! Lol!

2008-12-13T18:01:00.000-08:00

I hate London Transport... with a PASSION!! Why did I innocently get on the train to go home and see this chick fully digging out her boogers?! WTH?? Is that even acceptable? Proper diggin out her nose like her life depended on it... I was so sickened!! Then she's gonna go home to her man (if she has one, her hygiene levels would suggest otherwise) and hug him up with her booger infested hands!! KMT!! FOOL!

I met someone... lool!! No really!! I think... I dunno, we'll see!

Every girl and their mum has jumped on these shiny lame leggings hype... I dunno!! Some people look like idiots... if your legs aren't toned - why would you subject yourself to such embarrasment?! Just seeing the cellulite imprints on the leggings... nuff said!

I went to the salon to do my hair! *sigh*... I predicted 3 hours... way too ambitious! It is not imperative to spend the whole day @ the hairdressers but I feel like wherever I go, that is exactly what I end up doing! This black people timing/mentality is really not working for me at all!

Got my BlackBerry! Woop Woop!! Merry Christmas to me! Loool!! Not buying anyone presents this year... didn't buy anyone presents last year as it goes... my friend Mike called me 'Scrooge'... imagine!!

My best friend made contact...

Don't you hate when it rains... you get on the bus and sit down... your seat feels wet but you convince yourself its just cold, then you get off the bus and realise it was actually WET!! Could that be PISS?! My hatred for public transport is... my hatred for public transport is like my hatred for fat kids!! As much as you wish they would disappear... they never do! Fat kids irk me 'cos they always know the exact time to linger around you... just breathing all loud, mouth watering, stubby fingers... "ohhhh I want some!" Just GREEDY!!

I am constantly being told that I look very young for my age... compliment or insult?!

Teedra Moses... we love you!! We miss you!! Come back soooooooon!

Oh that reminds me... another candidate for my 'crush' list... Columbus Short!! He is too much in 'Stomp the Yard'... just smiling throughout the whole film... hahaha neeeeek!! I don't care... fine example of a good black man! Do excuse his attire... he was working!! Lol!

I am loving Brandy right now... her live performances are serious! Her runs are perfect every single time!

I'm actually really happy for Alexandra - X-Factor winner 2008! London does have talent... such a better representative than that dry ass Leona!! I cannot be the only person that thinks that girl is boring... it actually hurts! Talented but dry as hell!! Can you imagine a conversation with her?! Lmao... Exactly!!

Hmm... I'm in one of those moods!

"We can pop bottles
All night
Baby you can have whatever you like" ... No strings attached?! Seen!

Really cold fish and chips or really cold Special Fried Rice?!

I want a pair of Uggs... they may make your feet look way bigger than they really are... may not be attractive to the human eye... but they keep your feet warm! Anyone... T.I, Santa, Hugh Hefner!!
No, I'm playing... Miss Independent out here!! I hate when girls say that if I'm honest... you should never have to brag about buying your own things and providing for yourself... people will be able to see that just by looking at the way you carry yourself! I blame Destiny's Child! Heffers!

Err thats it!

Something New....

2008-12-11T20:30:00.000-08:00

Ebony and Ivory

live together in perfect harmony

side by side on my piano keyboard

oh lord why dont we?

- Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder 'Ebony and Ivory'

Lately I've been receiving alot of attention from men - mainly White guys. Now before I delve any further on this topic, I want to state there is nothing wrong with finding 'Something New' or getting your 'Jungle Fever' on, but its not really my preference.

A few years ago if you had asked me whether or not I would date a White guy the answer would of been a quick NO. Simply because I've never really been attracted to one, don't get me wrong I can look at someone like Wenworth Miller and 'appreciate' his looks (lol) but the 'average Joe' is a different story (don't ask me why).

However, a part of me thinks, why should I limit my chances of finding a good man simply because he is a different colour? What if the man that can truly make me happy does not fit this small box of preference that I have created for myself?

Its a sad fact that Black Women are less likely to get married in comparison to any other race and we are also the least likely to marry outside our ethnic group...coincidence?

Maybe. Maybe not.

Although I also feel that there would be a huge culture clash within an interracial relationship. For example something like 'meeting the parents', which already has its own anxieties could be a very awkward experience. Coming from an African background, there are certain little aspects of my culture or codes of respect that my 'Vanilla Love' might not understand and may un-intentionally disrespect i.e calling my Mum by her first name (I know Gabrielle is nodding her head in agreement with that one lol).

Luckily for me most of family are quite open-minded, and I honestly don't think my mum would have a problem with me dating outside my race but I can definately see her making a few jokes though SMH.

This is a topic that I have discussed with various people, and its been mentioned that some Black women don't like to date outside of their race because they feel some sense of loyalty to the 'Brothers'. That's strange because It does'nt seem like the Black man shares this loyalty or maybe he is unaware of our unspoken pact?

....And is it me or does society make it more acceptable for a Black Man to date a White Women but not the other way round?

Then there's the issue of raising children. I don't know about you, but growing up I was confused enough, figuring out what nationality to tick on an application form. How do you provide a healthy balance of diverse cultures within a child's up-bringing?

I'm going to stop here because this post is already too long :-) Maybe I'll create a part 2?

Like always your comments/thoughts are welcomed,

Peace

T.O.N.Y by Solange Knowles

2008-12-09T08:22:00.000-08:00

Everyone has that one guy/girl who messed them up!! Felt like you were completely in love but that person wasn't mirroring the same feelings you had! Prevents you from putting yourself out there again, the person that made you bitter maybe even scared!! Anyway, this song is a progression - starts off feeling neglected, needy and by the end of the song, smart and confident, realising that the person was no good anyway!! Its one of those BELT OUT type songs, picturing a girl/guy on their bed singing their heart out after calling the person more than 20 times with no reply! LOL

I'm sure I had already watched the video but can't find it anywhere... listen to it though!

'Me and Tony don't speak no more
It all most been a week oh no
My how time goes so fast
But I still refuse to call his ass
I remember the way that I reacted
And today is even more attractive
But I really miss Tony.

Then Tony call me one day
He said that he just called to say hey
And it wasn't until he called me back
That I realized I needed more than that
I'm a love wiser and a little older
Hey baby it was nice to know ya
Good bye Tony.'

Feels Good to Be Back!!

2008-12-09T07:35:00.000-08:00

I love the Internet, and when it refused to co-operate I realised that it has taken over my life!! I don't really watch TV anymore (apart from the Hills, College Hill and the old re-runs of Girlfriends)... but apart from that... its all the worldwide web!! My apologies, I did want to post!! Time to catch up!!

I would like to acknowledge all the Caucasians catching jungle fever! Ms TooFly can elaborate when she posts but I have been attracting quite a few and you all know that I do not discriminate!! But these guys, they're not the Paul Walker, Wentworth Miller even Mark Ronson that I asked for!! Haha... "what will please you woman?" I don't knoowwww, but the calibre of people that have been approaching me... *sigh* one sweet day!!

Yaaay for me!! I apologised to my friend and even though I haven't heard from him since, (shameful init), I'm content!! I'm happy that I swallowed my pride and apologised because I did realise that I wasn't a good friend to him and so now that that has been dealt with, the guilty feeling has gone!

I like the smell of petrol... I really do!

Some people say I'm rude but I really don't think so, I could be a bit more tactful when I say things but then that would not be the honest truth!! So, you lack common sense... I only said it because 'you do'... there's no sense in crying about it, just think before you say anything! Simple!!

Church was really inspiring, 'a friend should bring out the best in you, an acquaintance doesn't care!' Everyday is a lesson! There are people you speak to who don't care about your progress and its only until something happens that you realise whether they are a friend or acquaintance!!

I'm sorry but I love Solange Knowles... more than Beyonce! Her style is different, sound reminiscent of the 60's Motown classics... everytime I hear 'Sandcastle Disco' I start smiling!! But T.O.N.Y is the tune to look out for... 'memba I told you!!

Ms TooFly hit the nail on the head with the recent Brandy post, so heres another one! A great live performance of 'Right Here (Departed)'... Get it Brandy!!

Brandy - 'Long Distance'

2008-12-02T02:47:00.000-08:00

2008-11-27T17:07:00.000-08:00

So I still cant understand the circumference of his head but I guess its that shape for a reason! He keeps releasing all these songs that I absolutely love!! High five to the director of this video... I feel like Beyonce and Ne-yo are really tryna bring that R'n'B era back...

Oh alright then... here's another one... Jamie Foxx feat. T.I - Just Like Me. Now let me be honest, I cant take Jamie Foxx seriously... there's just something about him, so despite serious pleading from a good friend I didnt listen to his last album. In fact she uploaded it on my iPod but I deleted it... buuttt I think imma give this album a chance!! This vid is funny!!

Toodles!!

Argh!

2008-11-26T18:00:00.000-08:00

My 'best friend' calls after 4/5 months of not talking... how am I supposed to react? At first, I was soooooooo angry, like the nerve of this dude - so when it suit him he can switch the friendship on or off... I shoulda locked off but I didnt. I talked to him for a bit realising that I thought I would miss him much more than I did. We were talking about whats new in our lives and as much as I didnt think things had changed for me... I think my character has evolved! I think I'm stronger, my mouth is still as sharp as ever - so physically/materially I havent changed but Im aware of my emotions and how to control them. Emotions aren't meant to be controlled you say but when you think and behave like me, they are!!

I'm trying to get over some dude, really Im trying! Like I'll be good, wouldnt have thought about him for a few days or so... then out of nowhere... all that restraint goes to waste!! I dont know what it is because I know that Ive liked guys way more than this one... guys nicer than this one... its crazy!! I dont even feel like he deserves me liking him sorta thing... but I do and I desperately want to get over it!
I cant give it time either... it has to be a quick process... nothing long!

Im going to apologise to one of my friends... I'm realising more and more each day that quite frankly... I'm stubborn! I dont know what it is... I dont why I'm this way but I always have to put my point across, I hate the feeling of being taken for a 'dickhead'... I hate it!! I hate when guys tell me what to do... I hate when girls tell me what to do... but I really hate it when guys do it! They talk in such a patronising way like they're your dad or something... looking out for your best interests and all that jazz when really I know they love the whole 'control' factor. Some of them anyway!
Some guys just get off of the fact that they have someone to control and I just cant take that, so I exude stubborness and I've lost a perfectly good friend! He bought me a birthday cake and flowers for my birthday cos I was depressed... I know, depressed on your birthday! And I didnt show him no love at all for his, hardly show him any love at all, but I do cherish the friendship we have... argh I'm going to apologise!

It seems like we're always talking about guys on this blog... so lemme break it up with something I hate about girls! They talk toooooooo much!! No seriously, ladies you've gotta take a breath and sometimes not say anything! I have friends that call me and can talk straight for a good few hours... I'm talking one sided convos... I'm the person that 'hmms' and 'aahs'... lool but on a serious note, girls talk too much! Sometimes words are not needed!! Yeah yeah I write a lot but thats different, writing is everything I think about and you already know I think a lot! Ladies are emotional, sharing and caring... yuck... I dont think its necessary to air out your business. I think if everyone just took a few minutes to analyse some of their problems, the solutions would be much more apparent than talking to your 6 friends... just to figure it out all yourself anyway!
So its good to talk, just dont over do it!! Sooooooo rant over!!

Different but I love it! My bro didnt quite agree with me on the 1st listen but he's rinsing out the tune now... thought I'd throw in something fun!!

Master Shortie - Dead End

Black Girls!

2008-11-25T16:07:00.000-08:00

Soooo... I may have scared you guys a bit with my anti men... men cheat... trick, bitch, ho tirade but I was angry! You have to understand where I was coming from but I'm done with that now... I havent introduced you to the fun side, the diplomatic side, the insightful ME!! Today, I'm gonna go for fun! Gabrielle thought it would be interesing to guess what appeals to the black male, so I made a list...

1. Colour is irrelevant
2. Age is irrelevant (but I didnt go R.Kelly on you guys... that would just be cruel)
3. They must be PENGERS... as in good looking!

... but you can be the judge of that, in no particular order

Beyonce

Lauren London

Gabrielle Union

Meagan Goode

Maybe even Cassie... or Solange??

Eva Longoria

How about Eva Mendes??

Charlize Theron

Dania Ramirez or best friend Kelis??

This list could go on and on and on... oh you thought I was done without mentioning the sexiest female of 2008 - not my words!!

Halle Berry (note that this was not the kind of pic I was looking for. I am not a lesbian, this was one of the photos she took for Esquire - the mag that voted her 'sexiest female')

*sigh*... the list is too long, this male to female ratio must be true cos I'm even thinking of ladies that I left out!

Kelly Rowland
Rihanna
Sanaa Lathan
Cheryl Cole (side eye)
Keyshia Cole (another side eye)
Alicia Keys
Jessica Alba
Jada Pinkett Smith
Nia Long
Keri Hilson

Blah blah blah, I'm done with it. Now some eye candy for the ladies, just as Gabrielle said Mark Ronson (yuck) has something about him, so does David Banner. Thank God for this tall cup of hot chocolate... nice!

Random...

2008-11-20T07:36:00.000-08:00

I think a lot... about everything and anything... wake up in the middle of the night thinking about stuff!!

Some examples:

Why do people get ear wax? Why do guys wear doorags? If I continuously batter/squish annoying flies... will I go to hell? I wonder what heaven is like?

Why do singers do that open mouth sexy thing when they get closer to the opposite sex... it looks really fake... real slutty!

Men in white shoes?? I don't mean trainers! Women in white shoes?? Why?

You know when a girl is wearing jeans/shorts/trousers and they wear a belt... but either the belt is too small... or it cant handle the junk in their trunk... it does this pulling thin... I hate it!

Guys with brown nails... girls with brown nails!! Sort it out please!

When someone calls you and has nothing to say... annoying!

When you see an attractive guy/girl... make the necessary eye contact but still nothing happens... yet that cross eyed guy/girl from down the road thinks its fully acceptable to make a move on you!

Facebook... yes/no?? Addictive?? No one wants to know your life story... stop updating your status every five minutes... gosh!

The word 'swagger'... who created it?? Who started it?? Bet it was a good idea at the time... but now everyone and their mums are talking about having the 'most swagger'... Fools!

People that cough and dont cover their mouths?? I dont understand... its not rocket science! Just spreading their germs all willy nilly!

Shopping on a Saturday in a very busy centre... shopping online with a crappy internet connection?

Gabrielle Union with no common sense or a very smelly Lauren London?

Morris Chestnut with a pot belly, practically no muscles or Cedric the Entertainer??

I forgot to mention a definite in my top guys list... Will Smith... he gets better with age!!

Hola, Bonjour, Hello...

2008-11-18T06:58:00.001-08:00

Hello, is it me you're looking for?
- Lionel Richie

This is my first post on this blog :-)
I was going to write an introduction, but I could'nt be bothered and I'm sure you'll get to know me through my future posts.
I was saw this and thought I should share...

The Heel and Toe?? *tilts head*...really?
And don't think I did'nt notice the very wooden interpretation of the 'Dancing Machine' ...Wow

'Cos This Stuff Can Only Happen To ME

2008-11-16T16:55:00.000-08:00

It's been a month since the 'bitch, trick, ho' situation but I felt like I had to update you guys with my 1st post... just so you knew what was going on in my life! Its been very hard, I can't lie but I've just had to keep it moving (as Gabrielle so wisely suggested) but I have this feeling that the universe is trying to get me back for something... I dunno!

I've been going out, trying to get back to my old routines, keeping myself busy and Saturday was no different! I woke up extra extra early 'cos I needed to do my hair, (ladies... you know when it gets to that time... you can't run/hide anymore)... I know it gets crazy busy from as soon as the shop opens so I got there early and finished... hmmm... at a reasonable time I guess! I always hope for the best when I go hairdressers... finish in 2 hours tops... but it never goes to plan!

So, I'm done with the hairdressers, done with the food shopping, feel a bit hungry and pop into Greggs! KMT!! I dunno... am I to blame for being hungry or what?! It really is getting to me now... I pick up a sandwich and a drink... get into the queue and my heart skips a beat!

It looks like HIM from the back... but I couldnt tell... I was breathing so deeply you woulda thought I was going into labour... kmt... fucking hell man!! Just bullshit! Its only been 2 minutes in the queue but seems like much longer... I've managed to calm myself down... I mean it might not even be him! But lo and behold - it was HIM!

He just stood there looking at me... fucking wanker! Staring for a solid 5 minutes before he mustered up 'hey' (in yellow because it was a very feeble, sheepish 'hey')... kmt... I must be a dickhead 'cos this fool is really trying to be friendly... it hasn't even been that long since the incident... so why is he talking to me?! I dunno what came over me but I was so pissed off... I said a sharp 'hello' and kept it moving... he walked back up to me, grabbing my arm asking if we could talk... but at that point I had absolutely nothing to say.

I loved that guy for 3 years of my life... he loved that bitch for 3 minutes... and I must be the cordial one... I must act like the bigger person and go somewhere and talk... nah fuck that! I bought my food and walked past him... left him standing there like the prick that he is... and as much as I want to go on like 'superwoman'... I burst into tears as soon as I left the shop, i don't know what came over me! Sad, I know!

I loved him for 3 years of my life... and now nothing! They say 'love is forgiving'... not my love!

My Top Guys...

2008-11-14T07:32:00.001-08:00

This is totally my opinion... and not in any particular order! If any one of these guys proposed to me... it would be a straight YES!! Not all that cryin crap... "oh my gosh... I don't know what to say" rubbish... no hesitation on my part, just a straight YES!!

Jackie Long... I dunno... there's just something about this guy!!

Q from 112... I have to be honest, I never used to pay him any attention... it used to be all about Daron for me... then I saw them at a radio station (oh those celebrity chasing days... I was young - please don't insult me)... Q stood out! He actually looks like this!

Gotta get someone from this side of the pond... soooo who other than Idris Elba!! Woop Woop!! I don't care... I don't care... he is a very fine specimen!! And he's from the LDN... where did all our brothers go?

And note... that I do not discriminate... Paul Walker, Wentworth Miller and yes... Mark Ronson... definitely have the 'je ne sais quoi' about them... I don't know what it is... but they have it!!

I stand by this dude... he just upped his swags effortlessly! Got rid of the head band... the plaster... them baggy ass clothes... and totally upgraded! I 'heart' Nelly!

I can't think of any others at this moment... but this is not the end of my list... hmm... maybe I should ask the fellas who their top ten ladies are... could be very interesting!!

Bring on the movies....

2008-11-12T17:14:00.000-08:00

I've been really bored of late... just really bored, its got to the point where even Facebook doesnt do the job... which then spurs me to rekindle my love with Youtube! How I love it so... I think of anything off the top of my head, type it in and voila... you might see a few vid posts in the future... embrace it!!

One of my faves... 'The Wood'... I dont know how many times Ive watched it... but I know its too much... when you start knowing all the lines and can re-enact one whole scene, its A LOT!!

Just like this movie too... I have to give Better Never Than Late a shout out for that one... saw it there... and it brought back so many memories!!

Since there is no excitement in my life right now... this is me!! Having read 'Me' talk about her life has me rather thankful for my mundane days... sorry Me! Might have to change the name of the blog... 'A black girl with issues'... lmaoooo... I'm sooorryyyy!! Me... you know its all love! Your man obviously didn't deserve you if all that girl did was wave her coochie in the air... you know how I feel about this anyway... just 'keep it moving'... your future will thank you for it!

Shit just got real!

2008-11-11T06:37:00.000-08:00

Those are just a few words that come to mind when I think about that prick! She knew what she was doing from the get go and I can't believe I fell for it. You could call her an 'angel in disguise' cos I believed everything she said and stuck up for her when people used 2 cuss her out! Im such an idiot! Arrghhh... I can't express how pissed off I am... but IM PISSED! Like WTF... I brought her into my circle, she had no fucking friends, she had no life before I met her and I felt bad for her cos she was such a nice person. The last laugh is on me init... cos Im the one who now has no friends and no man!

My friends stopped talking to me because I continued to talk to her, they told me about her loose self and I refused to listen cos I'm stubborn like that! Big fuckin' mistake! How can I justify it? It doesnt even make sense in my head... she slept with my boyfriend, SHE...SLEPT...WITH...MY...BOYFRIEND!

I always said it would never happen to me... now look! It just doesnt make sense... I was with him for 3 years and I treated him right, I know I did! If I hadn't he would've left me from time... 3 fucking years of my life... don't get it twisted, I am mad at him but thats another issue! Its the fact that I try to be this loving, caring, friendly person and its get thrown back in my face!

I can't sleep, I can't eat, I'm always thinking about them... together... trying to figure out when this madness started... regretting the day I ever met that bitch. Dumb skank, stupid prick! She knew what she was doing, she knew! And I was there, ignorant to it all... such a fuckin' dumbass! I can't think straight, I just don't know what to do... what do I do?!

Im too old for this shit, I dunno... arrghhhhhh!! It feels surreal, like I wish it didn't happen but I know it did... I can't explain the feeling!

All I know is this one girl has changed my life and I don't know how long its gonna take to get back to normal. Fuckin' tramp! ARRGHHHH!! Just making me look like any dickhead... the worst thing is that my friends warned me but I'm too bloody stubborn... now look where I am! Kmt!

Shit just got real - 4 real!

*the expletives... sorry... but that's how I feel... *

Don't Hate!

2008-11-10T17:46:00.000-08:00

This vid has been circulating and I love it!! Good to know its not only the ladies that practise dance moves in their rooms... this guy slyly puts some girls to shame!!

Get it boy! *clicks fingers*

Hi!! My name is Me...

2008-11-09T19:12:00.000-08:00

I know... 'Me'... I have to keep it real with you guys... I'm gonna be sharing a lot and I don't know who will come across this blog... so unlike Gabrielle... I will not share my identity! But rest assured that you're getting nothing but the truth from me.

I'm 24, living in London and unlike the blog, I am a Black Girl With Issues! I cannot lie! Everyday is... lol... everyday is different! There will be some funny stories, best believe... but there will be posts where I vent... only natural!

I feel very privileged to write on this blog... thank you Gabrielle for having me!

'My name is Me... and shit just got real!'

Ever Have Days Like This...

2008-11-09T17:18:00.000-08:00

Life is crazy!! I'm telling you... it started with one thing and just catapulted into numerous problems! And even though this is how I feel right now... no one will ever know! I'm private like that... but I do want the madness to end!

They Say A Good Black Man Is Hard To Find...

2008-11-07T18:18:00.000-08:00

Women complain about the shortage of good men and relocating to another part of the world to find 'The One'... but how many women have actually come across a good man and dismissed him? I came across this and couldn't agree more with what the author said... I just wish I knew who wrote it!

Good Black Men are indeed all around us. We pass them on the streets, in the malls, and the halls at work. Most we can’t see because we don’t know what a good man really looks like. He usually isn’t flashy enough or rich enough to turn our heads. He might not wear a suit or push a Lexus. He might not have a body like Tyson with a Denzel face. But, as you mature, you realize it’s better to find someone who’s got your back rather than someone who turns your head.

A good man doesn’t agree wholeheartedly with everything you say. He doesn’t just tell you what you want to hear and do the opposite. He doesn’t declare how sensitive, sweet, caring, sincere, etc. he is (he won’t have to because it shows). He has his own opinions and yours may clash, but he doesn’t have to degrade you to prove he’s right. He even admits at times to being wrong, especially if you are willing to do the same.

A good man is not going to meet every item on your checklist. He is human with frailties and faults mixed in with all of his wonderful, strong attributes. He needs your love and respect. He needs to feel that you don’t live to catch him doing something wrong so you can declare, “Aha! I knew you were a dog!”

A good man isn’t insecure about his woman having great achievements. In fact, he is her number one supporter and becomes disappointed with her when she begins to lose herself, especially for the sake of not hurting his feelings, or only wanting to make him happy. His happiness comes with seeing her excel in her dreams and accomplishing her goals. For as she excels and is exalted, a good woman will bring her good man right along with her.

A good man doesn’t necessarily give you a huge birthday or Valentine’s gift. He shows his love in the ways that are comfortable to him. Don’t judge him by TV standards. No one is really living a fairy tale. You’ll miss out on your own fairy tale by buying into the myth that our men are no good. It’s just not true.

A good black man is a man of his word. He says what he means and means what he says. His word is his bond. He never leaves you wondering if he is going to call or show up - he is dependable. A good black man has a love and a heart for God. As his relationship and love with and for God grows so will his relationship and love with and for you grow…Our beautiful black men we salute you, appreciate you and thank you for who you are and all you’ve done.

-author unknown

... Why?!

2008-10-22T09:14:00.001-07:00

I've been hybernating in the house for a while and decided to go out today... *sigh*... big bloody mistake!! I dont know what it is about people in my area... or people in general... they piss me offfffff!! I mean I know I was on swags today (this girl is a sly droppers... meaning I looked nice), I'm not even shallow but everyone knows when they look on point and today I did!!

I digress... so I'm going to the centre to pay bills, sort out my finances basically and from the time I enter my 1st stop... Im already negged out!! 'Why the hell are you watching my face... bloody pricks?!' People are watching my face hard... and if you know me... you will know that this is one of my pet peeves... like if you want to look at my face you can, but keep it to a minimum... like 30 seconds... is that too much even?! Goossshhhhh!!

I shoulda worn this tee... but what about the staring ladies? Hahaha... actually it could apply to them too.. Rant over!!

- Gabrielle

This Girl Has No Issues...

2008-10-17T16:25:00.001-07:00

... And the same goes for many other black girls around the world, but for some funny reason... we are the most talked about!! If it isn't our rude attitude, crazy ways or even 'anger syndrome'... (imagine)... it's always something else.

So... this blog is for you... for me... for us!! In fact... you don't even have to be black! I'm not saying that females are perfect, far from it... but I'm going to air it all out... what people tend to think but are scared to say... you'll find it here!!

No boundaries. Just all truth!!

Enjoy!

- Gabrielle